Cross My Mind

Before I came to Memphis, I made a promise to myself. That promise was to get my life together and come out a lot stronger than when I went in. As of right now where do I stand? Hmmm...I've made a couple first steps but I still have a long way to go. I've decided that a few things have to be re-evaluated first... my education, career, love life and most importantly myself. However, I find that "love" seems to cross my mind a bit more frequently than the others.

Maybe its just me but "love" seems to be the topic of discussion wherever I turn. All week long, I somehow engage in a conversation with one who has lost it, never known it, or once had it but realized they must have gotten the definition confused with something else and find themselves currently trying to redefine it at the moment. Isn't it funny how as we get older our definition of "love" continues to change? It's not as simple as it once was... you know, when all u had to do was check yes, no or maybe on the will u go out with me note the boy/girl just passed u from across the room. But now, here we are playing a continuous game of tag with one another hoping that we actually find someone who is on the same page as us. What the hell is love and why is it so complicated?

Love has no single definition. It varies from person to person and is based on past, present and future experiences. Who is to say that one definition is more valid than the other?! I have been taught all my life that there are more important things than love...like compatibility. Love comes later I am told and yet I still wander in daze hoping that I will find someone who I am not constantly making excuses for and am actually on the same page with. NOTHING EVER SEEMS TO GO RIGHT! If ur upfront about everything u want and u feel ppl can't handle it but if u keep everything in then its a problem....Catch 22 ughh. I refuse to believe that the only way for me to find eternal love is to have my mate picked out for me. Is it really that hard for us to be honest with each other and just act on how we feel? What are u afraid of?

For Mr. Mcnasty(hihiihihi)

I usually don't like these blog things....OK I'm lying because I have a xanga and a myspace lol. Honestly, I think I have ADD so its kinda hard for me to sit down and write in a journal or some form of a journal everyday but I am going to try for Mike. So this one is for you Mike! Now there are no excuses of why I didn't comment on your blog or why we never stayed in touch. SOOO here we go :O)...............